Haven’t posted in months.
Why? I don’t think I’ve had anything new or interesting to say.
My life seems pretty normal- at least to me. I live way up high in the mountains of Montana, in a valley called the Cinnabar basin, and watch elk and now horses out my back window.
I have frequent discussions with my house regarding what is the acceptable level of cleanliness that does not cause me distress.
I’ve realized I talk to myself waay too much (conversations with the house not included), and trying to keep silent when alone is a challenge. (Thank goodness for our dogs; at least they offer a legitimate reason for vocalizing!).
We had snow in June, and 2 weeks later temps in the 90’s.
My big daily fashion decision is which pair of jeans and T-shirt I should wear.
Not exactly normal for most folks, I agree.
Friends and family call and ask me what is new; my response is usually “Not much.” I’m mostly content living my day-to-day, watching the many moods of the mountains.
Once upon a time, I was determined to make Big changes in the/my world. Whatever I was going to do, I felt compelled to do it in a big way. I had to be the best damn student/daughter/wife/designer/ creative director/mother/writer/ realtor in the land.
Obviously, these were not realistic goals. While pretty good at a number of them, there were just not enough hours in my day to Change the World.
I’ve made my peace that the world will do just fine, thank-you-very-much, with my input or without it. Looking back, I keep thinking ‘whew! how exhausting.’ All that energy put into attempted extra-achieving.
Perhaps if I’d let my Inner bitch come out and play more often, I woulda had more energy at the end of the day. You have to admit there is something freeing about flipping forward your first thoughts and actions without worrying how others will feel. Getting older does give me a more relaxed perspective…
May your days of reflection bring a calmness to your soul…. And if that doesn’t work, bring out that Inner bitch!